how to: dress for success.

So, if you've clicked on this post we are guessing that you need help. And not just any help, (because we aren't your therapists), but fashion help. Today we are going to teach you how to dress for success! First off, you must be willing to get rid of all the clothes that we consider ugly (we're talking old turtlenecks, bellbottoms, and anything your mom would decide to clothe you in if you let her). As an amusing side project we also recommend burning those hideous garments that you most certainly no longer need. Once you have disposed of said "ugly garb" you are ready to move on to step two, working out at your local gym till those buns burn. Thereafter you will most likely be pooped out and should probably take a minimum of a twenty-three and a half hour nap. At that point you may begin the dressing portion of the procedure. To begin any outfit, layer at least three pairs of pantyhose on top of one another to insure maximum coverage of the legs to prevent injury (we also suggest wearing knee pads for extra peace of mind). Make sure those hose are on there nice and secure. The best way to dress for success is to wear what makes you comfortable. Unless, of course, whatever it is that makes you comfortable is on the "ugly garb" list, then throw it into a volcano. So that people do not mistake you for another person you should also always wear a name tag (if you forget your name it is always a good idea to use Bob instead. It's great because it rhymes with job and obviously if you are dressing for success you probably want a job...so yeah). This my peeps is how you dress for success.

xoxo,

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