are my shorts too short.

Hello fellow friends. If you are reading this post, you probably are wondering if your shorts really are too shorts. While out shopping we encountered some questionable "shorts". They more-so resembled loose bathing suit bottoms. Those so called "shorts" were our inspiration to write this message to you. So let's get down to business (to defeat..the Huns) just kidding, no, we're gonna inform ya'll how to know if your shorts are too short and/or how to fix them. Step one: to distinguish whether your trousers are more than revealing you should make sure that they are minimally 23.56 inches long. If they are even 00.01 inches shorter they are DEFINITELY WAYY TOO SHORT! Step two: if at this point you have fathomed that your shorts, in fact, are too short you have two options. You may either dispose of them by: covering them in gasoline and burning them to a crisp, throwing them into a fiery volcano, sending them on a quick but painful journey through a paper shredder (you can then use the scraps as bedding for your pet rodent if you're snazzy enough to have one), or by any other means of complete and utter destruction. Or, if you opt for the less exciting alternative, (laaammmeee, just saying, no offense) you can make your attempt at reconstructing them. Step three: if you decide to exterminate your life of the shorts, you have made the correct and most responsible decision. If you settled on the "fixing" option you have made more work for yourself and you have shown signs of hoarding disorder and compulsive hoarding which are serious conditions that cause a person to stockpile many unneeded doohickeys and thingamabobs. If we were you, we'd get that checked out ASAP (unless, of course, you do not desire to dispose of your..umm..tbh, crap). Step four: if you are going to rearrange your "Daisy Dukes" then you must follow these instructions. 1: don the shorts. 2: use duct tape to wrap each leg individually until reaching desired length to ensure that none of your assets are spilling, escaping or showing at all (this actually has a double feature because at the end of the day, when you rip off the tape, it will automatically wax your legs. So bonus right!) 3: If you're still feeling exposed then you may want to wrap a layer of tin foil over the duct tape. This should create a reflective barrier that helps ward off bears, lemurs, and distasteful males. During the day at random times you should also assume warrior positions one, two, and three to prove your valiancy. (Side note: if you have to go to the bathroom at any point during the day, hold it, because there's no way to get those shorts off quickly.) Finally, you now have shorts that are actually appropriate and wearable thanks to us here at Iz-A-Bee-Blogs. You're welcome ;). Toodaloo! Hope ya'll enjoyed!

xoxo,

Iz-A-Bee-Blogs